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Tuesday 7 August 2012

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Man, Stop Being So Clingy

Often in the world of dating and man vs. woman, the female sex is accused of being ‘clingy’ towards their other halves. Us crazy bitches, apparently get too emotionally involved, too quickly which naturally only results in us being hurt as we are shunned for being ‘too clingy’, ‘desperate’ or being a downright ‘fucking nutjob’.

Rarely, it would seem, that males get these similar labels of being too emotionally involved without enough rhyme or reason so I thought that I would put this to the test. Do guys get just as clingy as girls do?

I posed this question to a fair couple dozen of girls that I know who ranged from their late-teens to their mid-thirties and the results were a pretty resounding – yes.

There were a few common similarities in a lot of their stories which I would like to share with you now…
The first, is that often it would seem that whilst dating, some of these girls didn’t realise just how clingy their boyfriend was being. Examples that I was given included things such as: guys calling to check that they got home okay…6 times in 15minutes if they didn’t pick up; asking about all their new friends on Facebook/Twitter; getting suspicious if they were late home from work; and insisting to come with them on every night out by saying that this was in order to “meet your friends”. These sorts of antics were originally was passed off as being “protective” and henceforth – “cute” or “sweet”. It was only after the break-up usually that these girls realised that actually, no, their boyfriend had just been incredibly possessive, clingy and slightly psychopathic.

Another common theme seemed to be that guys would do things that, if girls were to do, would be deemed inappropriate and desperate, but with a guy doing them it seemed to be romantic. Again, it was usually after the break-ups that the girls would have the epiphanies that made them realise how possessive their exes had been. These things included things such as, boyfriends turning up at work with presents, or turning up late at night to their house/flat “just to see them”. In most cases it was felt that they may have just been doing this is order to check up on their girlfriends, a move that would be seen as incredibly stalkerish, and possibly dumpable material if done by the girl.

The other example is one that often occurred with girls who had been on a date with a guy, or even just met him in a club and had been pretty complacent, or non-responsive with texts and calls that he had been sending her. If a girl sends text after text to a guy with no reply, this is seen as very creepy behaviour, something for guys to chat about amongst one another. If a guy does it, it takes a little while longer for the creepy factor to set in. Often girls said that they would mask their inappropriate amount of texts but disguising them as messages checking that they are okay…I’m absolutely fine thank you, I just don’t want to hear from you so STAP IT!!! Turns out that guys can also snap and start sending needy or abusive texts if they don’t get a response, this is certainly not a habit possessed only by the fairer sex.

All in all my point is this – guys are creeps too. Everyone has emotions, no matter how well they try to hide them. Even a guy can crack under this pressure if he actually really likes a girl. I have had one guy text me every week or two for the past few months with no reply. It’s instances such as this, along with the stories that I hear from other girls that make me come to the firm belief that it may even be the case that guys are clingier than girls.

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